Here’s a handy way to help history know how big of a creep you are
Bill O’Reilly really may be in trouble this time.
As an occasionally offensive hack whose Twitter icon is a self-cleaning elephant, I’ll let the free market decide if the career of host of the interminable O’Reilly Factor should survive revelations that Fox News seems to have paid out $13 million to settle five different harassment lawsuits against the host.
But I do want to use this teachable moment. We need to make a clear point about creepy dudes who use their power to sexually intimidate and abuse people who have less power than they do — especially since one now lives in the White House, at least a few days a month.
Let’s make sure that O’Reilly goes down in history as a creep in a way that’s instructive for all creeps out there. From now on, powerful men should be assessed by their level of creepiness, henceforth to be known as their O’Reilly Factor.
Here’s the deal:
Creepiness Scale: How to Determine Your O’Reilly Factor™
Give yourself one point for each check-mark.
___ People, and most pets, studiously avoid eye contact with you
___ You sexually proposition job seekers, employees and anyone you assume hasn’t lawyered up yet
___ You punish people who refuse your advances; people who accept your advances also feel punished
___ People time your phone calls to accept bets on when you’ll begin masturbating
___ You sexualize food in ways that suggests health department violations
___ Someone has settled more than one sexual harassment lawsuit on your behalf in the last century
___ You’ve written erotica where you attempt to explain cunnilingus in a way that suggests you had to Google it
___ You’ve been described as “Roger Ailes without the charm”
___ You definition of traditional marriage is one that ends with a restraining order
___ Donald Trump has publicly defended you
