Multiple women have accused soon-to-be former U.S. Senator Al Franken and former Congressman John Conyers, Jr. of sexually harassing them. Not one. Not two. MANY. These women are completely credible. None of them has anything to gain from this, financially or otherwise. In fact, they face withering attacks, many times from women which is one of the most heartbreaking parts of it for me. History will remember which side we were on in this debate and if you are on the side of the accused when the female victims literally have not one thing to gain and have almost everything to lose, you are on the wrong side of history.
I believe the women.
It is an act of bravery to accuse a well-respected man with power and a passel of good deeds in his history of such an act.
BRAVERY. Actual, rare, exceptional modern day bravery. You don’t get a chance to see that much and maybe that’s why it’s so hard for people to get their heads around it. These women should not only be believed, they should be exalted and thanked. Time Magazine’s choice to name them Person of the Year is a good start.
I believe the women.
I wrote an essay recently in which I said this:
It is time for this to stop and it is time for men everywhere to be part of the solution. We simply MUST become part of the conversation and identify our role in this horrible element of our culture…
I’m not saying this is easy. In fact, it can be damn hard, particularly in male-dominated environments where this sort of thing has been common since forever. But until we as men start calling out other men for these things, nothing will change. Women are almost always on the receiving end of the worst parts of a relationship with a power differential and we can use our male privilege and place of power to help change the dynamic. We can be a major force for change in our culture in this regard and be true allies to women by speaking out whenever it’s required.
Our daughters and our girlfriends and our wives and our aunts and grandmothers and female coworkers and neighbors and all of the other women in our lives need the good men in their lives to stand by them. If we don’t, this rape culture we live in will never change.
Let’s let 2017 be the year that was the beginning of the end of an American culture where women are regularly sexually harassed and assaulted as a matter of course. From now on, when another man tells you about times when he stood up to a harasser, be sure your answer can be, ‘Me too.’
This is why I have begun unfriending people on Facebook and unfollowing people on Twitter who continue to support Franken and Conyers. Even if every woman on my timelines believed these women and not the shitty men who did this to them (and, again, it’s tragically NOT all women), men MUST start taking stands like this or nothing will change. This isn’t something the brave women in our lives can change on their own. Actual societal change requires ALL of us draw lines and say, “No. Not this. Not now. Not ever.”
I believe the women.
If you are willing to compromise your values for political power, you don’t deserve political power. In fact, you should just get the hell out of politics entirely because we need people representing us who have values they use to guide their decisions at ALL times, not just when it’s politically safe.
I’m willing to lose friends over this on Facebook, Twitter, and in real life because I don’t want to spend my time with phony liberals who only act on their values when it is convenient. I want people in my life who are honest and genuine.
I have publicly said that what Conyers and Franken did is not even close to as reprehensible as what Roy Moore did. I’ll add Donald Trump to that, too, of course. Frankly, that doesn’t even need to be said. But a handful of disgusting Republicans being worse than Conyers and Franken is irrelevant.
I believe the women.
The anxiety and stress and retribution these brave women will experience — most often from their own political “side” — is unfathomable to me. But when I think about my daughter and my nieces and the other girls and young women in my life, I am beyond thankful that these women have stepped up because I want the change in the world that will allow all of these girls and young women to be able live without the endless harassment nearly all women experience. I want them to hold whatever job they are qualified for without having to factor in how much abuse comes with it. I want them to live without fear and I want them to live with dignity.
I believe the women. Once I decided that, every other choice was easier. Not EASY. Easier. And obvious.
If you are a progressive who is pissed at those of us taking a hard stand against Democrats who have sexually harassed women, you’re doing “progressive” wrong. Aim your wrath at the men who put us in this position, not those who are taking a justifiable stand against them.
One final thought: I keep hearing, “Oh, we need DUE PROCESS…” Due process is for the legal system. This is about who is legitimately qualified to represent us in government. Neither Conyers or Franken would have been elected or reelected if the voters knew they were sexually harassing women. So they hold their positions illegitimately and should resign.
