Democrats…
You supported Amy Klobuchar, or Pete Buttigieg, or another “more centrist” candidate in the primaries; now voting for Biden…
You consider yourself a moderate; thoughtful, empathetic, perhaps fiscally conservative yet socially liberal; you were attracted to the intelligence of Pete, or Amy’s “seriousness”, but believe that at this point, they would want you to vote for Biden, too.
You supported Elizabeth Warren in the primaries; now voting for Biden…
You still can’t believe that more persons didn’t see the qualities in Warren that you thought made her the best choice among the Democratic contenders. Intelligence, experience, humor, policy depth–come to think of it, the same qualities that led you to vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016. But as you put away your disappointment after Warren withdrew from the race, the decision to vote for Biden took about 5 seconds. Because, come on.
You supported Bernie Sanders in the primaries; now voting for Biden…
Like your friends who supported Warren and the other Democratic candidates, your heart is in the right place; and like Warren and Sanders, your own personal beliefs are quite a bit more progressive than Biden’s; but in spite of your deep sense of disappointment–even despair–over Sanders withdrawing from the campaign, you were able to put the good of the country over your anger at the progressive agenda not being fully realized–and you have vowed to keep the pressure on Biden should he win the election. And you will.
You supported Bernie Sanders in the primaries; are now voting for the Green Party candidate…
Like your friends who supported Warren, your heart is in the right place–but you have put your own sense of righteousness above the gnawing and growing sense of certainty that a vote for a third party candidate might be helping assure a second term for Trump–who you think is an awful human being and a danger to the planet. The planet you claim to care about so very much.
You supported Bernie Sanders in the primaries; are now voting for the Libertarian candidate…
Unlike your friends who supported Warren, your heart is definitely NOT in the right place–you only followed Sanders because he seemed angry, and that’s a feeling you can get behind, but you lost interest when he kept going on and on about “income inequality”–enough already! You read an Ayn Rand novel in middle school and could never quite outgrow your deep, selfish belief that only your wants and needs were important. Your own beliefs, oddly, are a hodgepodge of wildly conservative and outlandishly liberal policy stances from the outermost fringes of political thought, but what brings them all together is the unwavering certainty that you are the smartest, most clever C student who ever barely graduated from high school and only got into college, or law school, because you came from a pretty good family and took advantage of the social safety net and other public institutions that you are now committed to dismantling piece by piece, or outright destroying. And you are convinced that even if Trump is a disaster for another 4 years, how bad could things really get? After all, “I’m no stone-hearted person. But I also believe that the hope which you describe in people’s eyes, if seen after a Biden win, is at the least misplaced. At worst, it’s complete false hope.”
Also, you are a straight, white man, and just do not understand what that has to do with anything.
Independents & Undecideds…
You voted for Barack Obama in 2012; then voted for Donald Trump in 2016…
Both of you are just a mess. Sit down in a quiet place and think about your decisions. Then vote for Biden before it’s too late. And stop posting on social media. You’re just a mess, and now your friends think you’re a Russian bot.
You’re not sure who you are voting for because “both candidates are so bad!”
When asked, you swing between voting 3rd party “in order to send a wake up message–to both parties!”, or not voting at all–because, quite frankly, it seems like a lot of work at this point, and Call of Duty ain’t gonna play itself.
You haven’t settled on a candidate yet, and claim to be considering all of your choices very carefully…
You are known to say things like “Well, all politicians lie! It’s just so hard to know who to trust!,” and “I don’t even watch the news any more–why bother? It’s all fake–you can’t trust the media.” Either you have uncritically bought in to Trump’s disinformation campaign, or you just couldn’t be bothered to do any real reading or thinking for yourself, and think that spouting off like this makes you sound clever. In either case what you really are is a “low information voter”–or as the pundit class calls you, “persuadable.” As such, you will receive approximately 98% of the mainstream media’s coverage between now and Election Day–with fawning stories about your “hardscrabble upbringing in the Rust Belt, or Appalachia, or somewhere”–when you will enter the voting booth claiming to still be “unsure” of which candidate you “prefer.” Because not so secretly, you really, really like the attention your faux indecision has been garnering, and you know it goes away the second you share the truth–you’ve been a Trump supporter since Day 1 but don’t want anyone to know because even you embarrass you.
Also, you’re exhausting.
Republicans…
You voted for Trump in 2016; you now own several red MAGA hats, and proudly fly a Confederate battle flag on your Toyota minivan…in Michigan…
You like that he “speaks his mind” (even though he often stakes out positions on both sides of the same issue: “NO STIMULUS!!!” “I WANT A BIGGER STIMULUS THAN BOTH PARTIES!!!”), and “keeps his promises” (although Mexico has not paid for the wall, which hasn’t actually been built, and no immigrants want to come to the US because of the way our federal government has mishandled Covid).
You also “like his policies!”, although his tax cuts didn’t seem to help out your family very much, while your wealthy brother-in-law–who, truth told, is kind of a jerk, and also a Trump guy!–somehow bought a new boat last year and expanded his chain of cash bail bond shops into 2 more states. And never invited you out on the boat.
So even though a creeping sense of doubt has been worming its way through your brain lately, you’ve been able to drown it out so far by listening to a steady diet of Trump MAGA praise on Fox News, which plays 24/7 in your house, at work, and in every small business in your small rural community.
You also think that “Q” guy has some pretty interesting theories about what’s going on–and there’s no harm in listening to what he has to say. Right? Right?
You voted for Trump in 2016, and still lean toward Trump now, but have to admit he’s “kind of crass at times”…
You *hate* when your libtard family and friends call you a racist; it’s not your fault that you’ve feel so uncomfortable ever since that Somali girl started taking your soy latte order at the Starbucks. And how can Trump be a racist if Candace Owens–that patriot!–if voting for him?!? And she’s a girl, too–so he’s clearly not a sexist.
Still, so many of your friends have stopped talking to you, and even some of your children. Which makes you wonder if maybe you’re not seeing something. But your retirement accounts are still doing ok–at least they were the last time you checked on them in 2018. And that nice man at the brokerage company would tell you if things looked wonky…you think.
At the end of the day your strong sense of faith is really what guides your decision making, so as a life long Catholic that brings you back to Trump. What’s that, you say? Trump isn’t a church-goer? And Biden is a practicing Catholic? No, that can’t be true…I just don’t know what to think any more.
